Are You Fearless?

Are you fearlessness?

We all deal with the little negative voices inside our heads that tells us we can't do something. 

Fearlessness removes or repositions those voices.
Fearlessness chases away the voices that aren't doing you any good. 
Fearlessness acknowledges fear, and puts that fear on a shelf, and keeps going.  
Fear looks at opportunity with consciousness of what might not go well, and keeps going.
Fearlessness is a choice, a state of mind.   It is confidence in our ability to excite and execute.   Fearlessness creates the space for us to do what we do best, in a meeting, a conversation, or a project.

Fearlessness is embodied by a baseball pitcher who wants the ball in the bottom of the 9th inning.  This pitcher wants the ball because even though he knows he could throw "a ball" (vs strike) he has put that reality up on a shelf.  He is going into the game, the ball in his hand, with every intention, every fiber of his being, saturated with the goal of striking out every batter and helping his team win the game. 

Elite athletes and coaches, to me, are perfect examples of fearlessness.  They step on a world stage, prepared for criticism.  They constantly face the reality that they could fumble on the goal line, or miss the winning kick with 2 seconds on the clock.  

Fearlessness is Jeff Francoeur stepping into the batters box days after being hit in he face with a 95 mph fastball.  Fearlessness is Evander Holyfield, the world famous boxer, crawling back to his feet after a right hook from Mike Tyson.

In the face of that risk, top athletes want nothing more than to step in and try.  They want the ball.  They are fearless in both body and mind.  This is our model of fearlessness. 

Fearlessness enables us to pursue anything you want.
Fearlessness opens up our minds, expands our boundaries and believes in all the possibilities.
Fearlessness is unbeatable persistence.
It is our ability to embrace challenges.
It is our guts and our tenacity.

For me, fearlessness means acting on my confidence in myself and the quality of my work.  Fearlessness is where dreams are born and bred. 
Fearlessness is rooted in the knowledge that life is short, that life comes and goes before we know it.  Fearlessness gives us energy and liberation from the boxes that tell us we have done all we can, that we should just settle for less.  
Fearlessness allows us to embrace the present and future. 
Fearlessness is a lens to the past that appreciates the many, many times we tried. 
Fearlessness is the antidote to us waking up one day and feeling that we could have done something but never tried because we were afraid. 

Afraid of what? 
Afraid to fail.

When we are fearless, that is when -- and this is something I personally want for you -- the boss taps us on the shoulder and tells us, "Hey your are presenting at the biggest sales meeting of the year"... or you are the lead for a paramount piece of business.   What is our reaction at the point? We are filled not with fear but with desire.  We embrace that chance to expand our horizons and skills.   We want it.    And if, just if, that little voice tries to remind us we might fail, put it aside, on a shelf. "Thanks for that information", "but I am going to crush it".  

Without fearlessness, there is no change.
If it wasn't for fearlessness, we wouldn't have airplanes. We wouldn't have electricity.
We wouldn't have laser surgery or antibiotics or computer chips.

I've seen the power of fearlessness in a famous pitcher and friend - John Smoltz.
 John Smoltz is a baseball pitcher so good that one day, no doubt, he'll be in the Hall of Fame.
For most of his long career, he was a starting pitcher -- an ace for the Atlanta Braves.
But when the Braves needed him to change his role, and become the closing pitcher -- the clutch guy who is going to come in and seal the win -- John didn't push back.  He didn't fear.  Essentially, he was going from being a marathon runner to a sprinter, and he was doing this fairly late in his career.
Yet he didn't worry that while the world of baseball was watching him try to do something that few pitchers ever do, he might fall on his face and fail.  The main person who knew that John Smoltz could pull this off was John Smoltz. In many ways, as great of an athlete he is physically, his mind is even stronger.  John loves pressure.  He loves a challenge. He wants the ball when the game is tied, bases loaded and the team is on his back.  He loves it.  Fear can find no footing with John Smoltz.  And he was not only a great starter, but a great closer too. 

We must have some degree of fearlessness to push beyond what we are doing now and into what our mind imagines.  Fearlessness is the engine that makes imagination into reality.  At the core of fearlessness is confidence and consistency. Confidence and fear cannot coexist. One is going to win. You want confidence to win.  Consistency helps us build confidence.  It is the rhythm produced when we do what we are uniquely capable of, over and over. When confidence is demonstrated consistently, that is fearlessness.

One of the most important aspects of the journey to fearlessness is taking action.
When we are fearful, we often are stuck.  We don't do anything.  Fearlessness is a state of activity, not passivity.  

Let me share a couple ideas on how I have seen the best become fearless:

• Fear comes from worrying about what other people think – stop it, don’t be a worrier about “WOPT"
• Collect and practice positive messages
• Find a fearless role models
• Think about that pitcher fearlessly taking the ball in the ninth inning
• Practice small acts of fearlessness
• Visualize fearlessness prior to key moments

Fearlessness is critical to move into a better relationship, personally or in business.  Fear stands in the way of change, so fearlessness is the state of mind, recognize it, move through it and put it aside on the shelf so you can operate fearlessly.

Coming soon on my website, a video on FEARLESSNESS…with more tools and tactics to overcome fears. Stay tuned.

Are You Evolving in Healthy and Impactful Ways?

Evolving in a healthy way is paramount to growth - personally and professionally.  Evolving is anchored against awareness.  Both self awareness and awareness of the world around us.  Being aware of our ever changing environment and being intentional about reacting to it to improve is the first step in evolving.

Brands evolve.  Or actually better said, great brands evolve.  One of the best of late, of course, is Apple.  Apple at the core is a computer company. Like so many others.  So why do we buy iphones, ipads, itouches, and other "i" devices from them?   Because they evolve their technology, their serves - instead of simply providing computers - they saw needs, evolved and provided the solution.  Apple is aware and acts on that awareness.

Sports evolve.  I remember when basketball added the 3 pt. line or when we instituted the instant replay to review on field calls.  Not to mention off the field/court/course evolution of sports with everything from the way athletes train to inclusion of social media in sport.   We can run the gamut of how sports has evolved.

And, in my belief, people should be intentional about evolving as well.  Or actually better said, the best people evolve.

So, the first step is believing it is imperative to evolve to be the best.  You in?

The second step is identifying the areas we want to evolve. An example of categories are:

Everything!

Or, to be slightly more specific, it is:

• Personally
• Professionally
• Community
• Company
• World

So, basically everything is open to us touching to evolve.

To dive a little deeper, ask yourself a few questions about each of the above (and other) categories:

• What is happening in these areas?
• What isn't happening in these areas? 
• What is working well?
• What isn't working well?
• What can we identify as needs and wants in these areas?
• What do we sense as the solution to these needs?
• What will they need tomorrow? Next year? Next 100 years?
• If they are already good, can they get better? If so, how?

Get clear on the answers to these questions so we can evolve in healthy and impactful ways!
 

Jacqueline Novogratz - A Brilliant Visionary

Acumen Fund and Jacqueline inspire me (and I know others) to think, share, inspire, deliver, understand and take action.  Check out this magical video link below on part of Jacqueline's story and her "why."  She is brilliant visionary who will inspire you to think differently about what you do and how you do it.

http://www.acumenfund.org/bluesweater/

Don't Buy PJ's With Pockets

I used to buy PJ's with pockets so I would never miss a call and sleep with my phone on all night by my bed side table. I use to think that everything had to happen right now. Everything. I have started to set down my long list of things to do next to my phone and what I have found is it brings greater clarity and efficiency to my work.

Whitney Johnson said it well in her HBR article below. Take a few moments and read her article. I, as I know many people, often need this reminder.


Whitney Johnson - Harvard Business Review
Last weekend, like every weekend, I scrawled a long list of things to do on an old envelope. But unlike most weekends, instead of tethering myself to a computer and working, I sat in my backyard alongside my 10 year-old daughter in our collapsible camping chairs, reading novels. I wish I could tell you that this was a bona fide afternoon of rest and relaxation (R&R). Not quite. In flinging aside my agenda, my workaholic self felt more than a little bit naughty. In fact, a more accurate descriptor of that afternoon would have been rebellion — with a little relaxation on the side (R&r).
In this same spirit of rebellion, I've begun docking my phone downstairs, rather than on my nightstand. Now that I'm no longer checking e-mail during the wee hours, I'm sleeping more soundly. Emboldened by this win, I left my phone (which my children call, not entirely in jest, my third child) home during a recent family outing. The bad news is that my 24/7, always-on fortress remains relatively unassailable. Just last night, when it was time for our family's evening prayer, I was so busy tweeting that my husband deadpanned, "What, are you going to tweet your prayer?"
And yet I'm not about to advocate a wholesale disconnect. After all, it's been demonstrated that technology and connectivity do make us happier. But now that we can live life in the cloud, I wonder if there's an ever-present dark cloud of "more-to-do" hanging over our heads, with the languorous, lazy days of summer becoming bygones, and busyness a badge of honor. Do we consider unplugging a necessary evil, a nuisance we would happily do without, rather than recognizing that rest is integral to innovation, and more importantly, to a meaningful life?
According to current neuroscience research, after focusing intently on a project or problem, the brain needs to fully disengage and relax. As composer, musician and producer Brian Eno has opined: "The difficulty of always feeling that you ought to be doing something is that you tend to undervalue the times when you're apparently doing nothing, and those are very important times. It's the time when things get sorted out. If you're constantly awake work-wise you don't allow that to happen." More pithily, as said by John Cleese: "If you are racing around all day, ticking things off lists, looking at your watch, making phone calls, and generally just keeping all the balls in the air, you are not going to have any creative ideas."
When we do nothing (take a walk, a warm shower, slowly wake up), we defy the "always on" mindset, recognizing that we, like our muscles, become more productive by alternating work with rest. As leaders, we can encourage this healthy rebellion by example. We may think we're being responsive, even impressive, when we send work-related e-mails at midnight, on the weekend, or vacation, but those who work for us will see us as establishing a norm. If you will take some real down-time without the constant tug of technology or a to-do list absorbing your thoughts, you will give your employees permission to do the same.
Refraining from constant communication can give your words more weight when you do speak. In the book Sabbath, author Wayne Muller recounts a conversation with Oscar Castro-Neves, an accomplished guitarist and composer for movies, in which Castro-Neves teaches, "It is common in a dramatic scene to gradually bring the music to crescendo, and then stop — rest — silence. Whatever is spoken on the screen in silence is heard more clearly, more powerfully; the words are lent an additional potency, because they are spoken out of silence. When you listen to music, listen to the cadence of rest. Martin Luther King, the most famous speech of his life. Listen to the cadence. Free at last. (Rest) Free at last. (Rest) Thank God almighty, we are free at last."
The most typical dictionary definition of rest is "not moving or tranquil." Another definition is "a thing or place to put something for support." Rest is life and work support. It reinvigorates us so we can get things done. It allows us to subvert our inner workaholic, liberating our innovative self. It also allows us pause to gain perspective, to plumb the meaning of our life.
What we think and do today makes meaning of what we did yesterday. Learn to lie dormant. Listen to your cadence of rest. Take a break.
Only after a break can you have a breakthrough.

Healthy Relationships Are Like The Best Tasting Tomatoes

Sports fans know this chant between two sections of the stadium:
"What do we want?" The other side yells, "A victory."
"When do we want it?" "Now!"

We all want what we want now. We don't want to wait. We are in rush. Time is money -- and all that.
Today I am asking us to take it back a notch or more. Because we don't have to have everything all at once.

Say that with me: We don't have to have everything all at once.
That may not sound like me, because by now you know, I talk and move a mile a minute. Fast is my normal speed. But, I don't rush all the time (especially when I go for a run). I take my time when I need to, and I need to more than you probably think. I slow down because it is in my best interest to do so.

Let me explain. I have recruited hundreds of the best athletes, coaches and broadcasters in the world, and beat out the competition in doing so. Go fishing and there will always be more fish than people who want to catch them. Not so in the athlete representation business. There are more agents than athletes.

So what I saw early on was a lot of jostling, a lot of pushing, a lot of the "Jerry McGuire" scenes of working against some imaginary clock to sign someone, to nail the deal, to get so wound up it just has to happen, or bust.

Yuck.

Early on, I got clarity around the fact that it doesn't happen all at once. I needed to create a connection and that takes time. Without a true connection, a true relationship would never happen.
Deep down, when I saw this pace of competition around me, when I took a step back to put myself in the shoes of those I was pursuing, this really crystallized: I hate being rushed. I believe most people do. In sales -- and that's a big part of athlete representation at the core -- when we rush, the other party feels like we have something to hide. In that moment there is a real risk of being seen as a user or insincere. We're just trying to get the deal done so we can sit back and let their money roll in. Not cool.

Think about that from the other person's view. Doesn't feel good. Right.
Rushing can sometimes close deals, I'll say that -- but rushing never, ever builds a relationship.
In a relationship, the opposite is true: Haste makes waste.

OK, so pause for a minute while I clarify what may seem like a contradiction to you. When I say that you don't need everything all at once, I need to make something clear: We still need to be urgent about building the relationship. This is the key difference: focusing our urgency on the relationship, not on the transaction. What I want to get us moving toward is adding value to them with urgency.... and moving away from any rush to add value to ourselves. Do you see how big that difference is?

A transaction is like one ordinary plant -- a relationship is a garden full of precious, valuable plants. The plants don't grow overnight, especially the ones that have really deep roots. We've got to be patient and let those roots take hold, and then we can count on knowing we'll have a really strong plant.....a flower or a bush or tree that will weather the worst storms and drought. That's the kind of strong relationships we want, too.


There are countless examples in nature, all around us, of living things that cannot be rushed. Take something common like a tomato. These are grown in hothouses so they'll be ready to ship quickly. They don't taste as good as a tomato from a garden. People don't rush out to get tomatoes from a greenhouse. No question, if you want a truly tasty tomato, we're looking on the roadside for the shack with heirloom tomatoes nurtured with sunlight and water. That's going to taste really good.

And so, as it's been said for centuries: there is a time for everything, and paying attention to your pace is critical. Realizing that what we want doesn't have to happen all at once is at the core of this thought from Maya Angelou, the great writer:

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

It is hard to make someone feel important, and genuinely special, if we rush. Why is slowing down in this regard so important? My goal for us is not to land one deal. It is to land multiple, ongoing deals with a core group of customers who see us not as sales people but as people who add value to their lives. People they cannot live without.

Bottom line is, a good relationship takes time. Anything authentic involves time. When we talk about building a platform that's a place that must be strong, thus you don't expect it to be built overnight. If that happened, the platform would be shaky, wouldn't it? We'd worry about it collapsing and hurting anyone who was counting on it for support, maybe even injuring ourselves.

There are hidden powers in slowing down: For starters, this habit requires confidence, and it builds confidence. If you are confident in what you do and how you do it, you will refrain from forcing it. If you are not as confident as you'd like to be in what you do and how you do it, you can start mastering that mindset by slowing down. Slowing down gives you the room to set one's self up to act "as if." Acting as if I already have someone's business before I do is my way of practicing and rehearsing for the big show. Because I know that I don't have to have it all at once, I have given myself time and space for authenticity. We only control yourselves, and we must wait for another party to connect, so why not let it flow?

Another reason to slow down is to create leverage. When the other side sees our urgency, they wonder, "Are they hiding something? Something up their sleeve?" They sense it and close down. They're having post-trauma from being burned, from being sold, from being pushed too close before they are ready.

Grow relationships like we grow tomatoes in our backyard garden not the hothouse.

Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders | Video on TED.com

I have watched this talk twice, as I do with many Ted Talks. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, has three great points in her talk about what she believes is important for women to be aware of to be leaders in the work force:

1. Sit at the table
2. Make your partner a real partner
3. Don't leave before you leave

Listen for the story of her brother and his reaction to how he did on a college exam. Capture this, own it, implement it. I promise, believing you can (as I often say) 'crush it' is paramount to success.

Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders | Video on TED.com

Jeff Bezos: What matters more than your talents | Video on TED.com

Whether you are old or young, just starting or just finishing, watch this - please - it will make you think and make you reflect. Enjoy.
Jeff Bezos: What matters more than your talents | Video on TED.com