Saturday, May 1, 2010

Curiosity can be more effective then defensiveness

A short post to encourage you to think of a particular moment during "critical conversations" in a slightly different way. When your natural instinct is to become defensive, I am asking you to try something, turn defensiveness into curiosity. Exactly what does that mean behaviorally? Attempt to better understand their position by asking questions. And then listen. There are plenty of things that can get in the way of executing this - like time and egos. However, when the moment is right - curiosity works better then defensiveness. At the most basic level, it encourages two way communication and the opposition feels heard. You may learn something. You may not. But, it builds more authentic relationships.

Often the tendency is to avoid difficult discussions all together - which doesn't work long term in truly authentic relationships. So, when you find yourself going into defensive mode in a relationship that matters to you. Turn defensiveness into curiosity. One small thought for you to utilize that produces positive discussion in critical moments. More soon...