Jump Out of Line

We were all born with creativity, the ability to be innovative and imaginative.  We created characters and acted them out, we lived and played in pretend worlds with Smurfs and built awesome one of a kind structures with our Legos.  We played with dolls and built “clubs” behind our house.  

Then the world got a hold of us and we were asked to follow others instructions.   

We went to school where we sat at a desk, walked in a straight line without talking in the hallway, received assignments during the day and then a packet of homework with instructions to do after school.  We used a #2 pencil and even got a trophy for being #2.  And if we were good, we woke up and did it over and over until – God willing – we went to college.  To do more of the same.   

We weren’t born to be order takers and followers, the world taught us to be.  If we were so blessed, we had parents and others around us that showed us there are a few ways to execute the same thing.   

I'm forty now, but when I was a kid, my Mom and I rarely crossed the street at the light, but rather we went the quickest route.  Sometimes it was like a real live game of Frogger, but we always made it across.  My Dad who, after my older twin brothers had picked on me all day, would say, “just hit ‘em when they aren’t expecting it.” And, so I did.   Or a Grandmother who taught PE in the 1940's and another with cracked skin on the tip of her fingers from working so hard day after day to provide for the family.  Or a Grandfather who took me fishing at age ten with alligators surrounding our wobbly boat then took me back to his Florida home and watched me mow his lawn with chewing tobacco in his bottom lip the size of a large lemon.  I am thankful, extremely thankful, for this type of influence.  I am confident it offset the “straight lines” I walked at school for twenty years.  I am sure, or hope, you had people like this in your life as well.   

If you were molded, like many of us, to extend your “follow the rules” program into your adult life, I want to remind you that now we all have a choice.  A choice to get a set of instructions each day or create our own set of instructions.  We can either fit in or stand out – but not both. We can choose to build our own maps or follow someone else's.   We can seek high levels of achievement and create a new bar or we can reach for the bar someone else has held up for us.  Meeting expectations - so what -  that isn’t about being the best.  Living without a map might require a tweak in your mindset.  It requires leaning into change and challenges.  It requires having so much passion for creating and building that it over comes your fear of failure.  It requires the same thing that is on a soda can, “no deposit, no return.”   You can build your road map with or without road blocks.  There are often several ways to get there.  Have the guts and the passion to find the route. Now-a-days we are all in sales, we are all in marketing.  We all have a voice and can be heard.  Find your voice and share your vision.  It might require a real life game of Frogger sometimes, but the journey is more fun, in my opinion, and on the other side you might be able to build a rewarding new play ground.

Do you want to create the life you want to lead or have someone else give you your instructions? It’s up to you.

Consistent - Why it Matters?

I asked my kids this morning what the word "consistent" means to them, they said, "to do it over and over again Mommy." I ask the best athletes and coaches what it means and they say, "it means you're going to control your destiny and likely find a spot in the Hall of Fame." Not to profound, right?  They are both right.  Lets dig a little deeper...

I had a very cool talk with Tom Izzo recently when I was at his house executing a production day....the crew was getting set up and as they did we got into a great discussion about consistency.  I think his passion for consistency is rooted with his Midwest roots.  Or, at least, as a Michigan gal, I'd like to think so.  Or maybe it's a passion for success and winning combined with his Midwest roots.  Tom shared, "consistency is what really matters, it's what makes what you do real, powerful and impactful - success gets you there but consistently executing keeps you there."  

I have seen athletes get a "call up" to the big leagues for a cup of coffee, and sadly, not execute and find themselves back down in the minor leagues.  Or a coach, get a "dream" job and not execute and find themselves fending off frustrated fans and rationalizing a "rebuilding year".  Or a golfer get his PGA Tour card or a win, but can't do it again.  And then their are the greats - who get there and stay there.

We can all find ourselves at various stages of the process of executing consistently. 
Maybe you have accomplished something and you want to accomplish more of it?  Is it repetable? If so, what is the formula to repeat it? What is the formula to not only repeat it, but enhance it?

Maybe you have yet to reach the bar which you believe is the benchmark for your consistent success. Do you have clarity on what your plan is to get to the bar you have created for youself?

Maybe you have executed consistenly at a high level over and over - in which case - knowing your type - you aren't through.

Reminder, this can be an emotion, an attitude also.  So maybe it isn't about doing but thinking differently.  Maybe it is a desire to be consistently positive?

I challenge you to get clear on what you want to execute consistently? And do three things with that clarity:

What is your plan to do it?
Is the process repetable? Hopefully so.
What is your plan to replicate and enhance it?

Lastly, might I suggest, you implement something I call the "two minute rule"...celebrate and enjoy your success, but if it is the first of hopefully many, move on and do it again, and again.  Then, like Tom Izzo, you will find yourself building and leaving a legacy.

Investors.com

Leaders & Success

Molly Fletcher Studies The Best In Sports, Business

By MICHAEL MINK 

To reach the top, follow the steps of those who've made the trek. Molly Fletcher, a sports agent dubbed the female Jerry Maguire, did just that — going into the locker rooms and boardrooms of upper-echelon performers in sports and business to find their commonalities. One result is her book "The Business of Being the Best."

• Be yourself. Top performers are real. That's what Fletcher found with legends such as college basketball title coach Tom Izzo, Hall of Fame quarterback Roger Staubach, Home Depot (HD) founder Arthur Blank and Cy Young-winning pitcher John Smoltz. "Be authentic and anchor everything you do against that," she told IBD. "Being the best is about being you, but the very, very best you can be."

• Tune in. Top performers are "always looking to learn and ask questions," said Fletcher. "They want to pull anything they can out of every experience, conversation and interaction."
Ken Kam, CEO of Marketocracy, which identifies top-flight money managers, advises people to ask why good decisions worked out. "That's how opportunities for value are discovered. Too many people aren't curious, so they never ask those questions. They're too willing to accept the way things are. Successful companies are all about trying to improve, looking for the ways things could be made better," he said.

• Be courageous. Fletcher found the best performers aren't afraid to fail or take risks. They want the most responsibility in the most important situations. Then "they have the ability to focus on execution," she said, and come through.

• Know your purpose. The best "understand that activity doesn't equal execution or success. Proper execution is what equals success," Fletcher said.

• Embrace urgency. Top leaders, Fletcher says, have a solid sense of it. While they can create an environment of calm, "they're proactively doing what they need to do to be the best," she said.

• Be exacting. Heidi Grant Halvorson, an associate director for the Motivation Science Center at the Columbia University Business School, says successful people are specific about what they want to accomplish and plan in detail how they will do so. "Knowing (precisely) what you want to achieve keeps you motivated until you get there," Halvorson, author of "Succeed," wrote in a chapter in the book titled "Nine Things Successful People Do Differently."

• Develop grit. Top achievers are mentally prepared to overcome obstacles on the path to the top, says Halvorson.

Enneagram

People say you have to love your self to love someone else.  True. I believe you also have to know yourself to really be able to really know others.  You have to know your tendencies, your quirks, your strengths and weakness.  You have to know what depletes your energy and what strengthens your energy. You have to know what inspires you and how you best inspire others.  You have to know your WHY.  Why do you do what you do?

Through my YPO (Young Presidents Organization) I was asked to take an "Enneagram Type Indicator."  It is a "personality test."  But it is the the one I have found to be the best.  The best because so many people I work with in YPO who facilitate retreats for executives use this as their primary indicator for personality types. And I found it to be the most practical from my personal experience as well.  It is ten bucks and takes 30 minutes to take the test (and no I am not paid or asked in anyway to endorse this product).  I took my first one last week and within just a few minutes I had an email in my in box telling me all about myself.  I shared it with my husband and he said, "wow, freaky, this thing nailed it." The best part isn't that it tells you what you know, the best part is it shows you your blind spots.  I always say (as do many - I certainly didn't think of it) - our greatest area of exposure as individuals in not knowing what we don't know.

www.enneagraminstitute.com is their site. 

Not that you care, but I am a type 3 with my second highest score was a type 2.  At the risk of being a little vulnerable - which I always recommend to people, I thought I would be vulnerable myself and tell you just who I am.

If you can skip a latte for a couple days and spend that money on the Enneagram test, I am confident you will find it helpful.  It will help you know what you need to work on and better understand the formula for you to be your BEST!

Cheers!

 

What does it take for females to lead?

As a female sports agent, I get the standard question two ways:

“How much more difficult is it for you being a sports agent as a women verses a man?”

Or the more half full minded folks ask it this way:

“Is that an advantage for you being a women? Being different than the others?”

As a female sports agent, representing mostly men in the most popular male team sports (ie MLB, PGA, NCAA Coaches) I have grown up professionally in a world surrounded by men – whether they were my clients, employees or my competition. 

What does it take for females to lead?  To win the top jobs?  How do we raise the recently published minuet 3% female CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies?

Do you have to be ruthless?
Do you have to be sexy?
Do you have to act like a man?

No, no and no.

Women have to be authentic, be passionate about why you do what you do and be committed to being in The Business of Being the Best (same title as my latest book).

I have summed up the things that I think are imperative to grow into a successful female leader.

You must have passionate integrity. In other words, in a competitive business environment, passion and integrity must live within you consistently to win. 

You must have fearless focus.  Don’t be aren’t afraid of what might not go right; you must expect to win.  Part of this is being a determined listener.  Listen more then you talk.  Ask questions that provide the kind of data you need to support others and learn about other ways to be an expert.  Handle yourself in a friendly, yet professional manner – always. 

Consistent discipline is paramount to proving you can lead others.  We must set the stage for the entire team and the customers as it relates to discipline and ability to sustain it day in and day out.   To success as a female, I believe you must have creative drive as a key ingredient.  Have 360 degree awareness around the things that need to happen for them to go to the next level.  Creativity helps you differentiate yourself from the pack.

The best influence others in a positive, consistent and substantial way – I call this humble and consistent energy.  They are intentional about where they put their energy and who gets their energy.  The bi product of this is a team that respects your focus on time and energy and provides a healthy respect for their time with you.

The best women expect to execute.  In other words, all the above are paramount, but if you don’t role those up into executing, you won’t win.

What role do men play in this? I believe that is like asking the Republican party: what role do the Democrats have in a republican earning the role of President of The United States?  An extreme example, so forgive me as I am not implying men and women are this divided but rather just different breads.  Isn’t it about being the best, being a leader, about the things discussed above.  In other words, be good, no rather be great.  Be better then the others.  Don’t wasn’t energy groveling over the “competition” . 

My ask to society, support the best candidate to lead your company.  My ask to women, support other smart and committed female leaders, in both our words and in our actions.  More specifically, support each other through transparent and positively impactful behavior.

We all need to own this.

Turn Defensiveness Into Curiosity

How do we turn defensiveness into curiosity?  And do it consistently. 

I know, that seems like a 180, doesn't it? And that's exactly what it is. It's taking those moments when we all immediately want to push back. But instead, we train ourselves to turn that completely around, and instead of pushing the door closed on a relationship, we're opening it up. We're making a surprise move.

Turning defensiveness into curiosity is unexpected. It's what will set us apart. It is a behavior that shows that we are immediately realizing that the relationship is not about us and our needs. When we feel defensive, this becomes a cue for our curiosity to kick in. Let me explain what I mean.

One of the most common situations is when I am working a deal for a client. I'm talking to a company or team that I believe would be a great fit for my athlete.  But then, the guy on the other side says, "I don't see value in your client, Mol." OK, so can you feel the hair go up on the back of your neck? Me too! Anger... resentment... the desire to fight back. It's all very normal. But I've redirected that defensiveness.  Though part of me may want to say, ‘‘You have to be kidding me! This guy's a winner! He's done everything needed and more to help his team win!"
Instead, I say, "OK, so it sounds like what you're saying is that it's not just this guy's performance on the field that you value. Is that right? What do you value?"

So you see in that story, instead of going at this guy, I've got my toolbox out and I'm ready to build a platform to keep standing right next to him. I'm taking the challenge and I'm doubling down. I'm buying into his reality and asking me to take me further into his world, into what he thinks is important.

Defensiveness can be a doorway into what you really need to know about this important person. Shifting into curiosity is  paramount to gaining clarity why someone feels the way that they feel about a particular situation. Paramount. Doesn't matter if the person is inside or outside your organization. This is important with your spouse or significant other -- anyone you care about knowing better.
I see two types of defensive behavior that we need to understand.

The first is direct, and the second is indirect.

Direct defensive behavior is when we blame someone or something else. Defensiveness comes from a situation that involves bad news or disappointment. Attacking or threatening the messenger -- we've all done that. We've all interrupted, often to justify our beliefs or actions, or to attack back. We've taken over the dialogue with long-winded explanations of why we are right. You probably have the picture by now, but a couple other cues for direct defensive behavior are a tone of righteous indignation and hostility, and demands for evidence.  Any of these might as well be a ton of bricks, and each one is making a wall between you and the person that you need to get close to and understand.

Indirect defensive behavior is more sneaky, but it's just as problematic. For those of us who internalize our feelings, we demonstrate defensiveness by withdrawing. We've heard or read something that makes us churn, and we've got a death grip on the office chair. We turn silent. Our answers are cryptic or confusing. We're punishing the other person with what many call passive aggression.  The standby is pretending to agree without really agreeing, and the moment the person walks out the door, we're telling our coworker what we really wanted to say. That does no good, because the person who holds the key to the deal is already off the elevator and gone baby gone.

As I describe this, maybe this thought is present: "Molly what other choice do I have? This guy shafted me!"   

So what I want to show you is another way, to reroute that reaction, from negative to something that's positive. No, it's more than positive. Curiosity is one of your most potent tools.

Let's talk about why and how you can turn defensiveness into curiosity. Let's dig deeper into what one of our most brilliant minds, Albert Einstein, valued this highly.  Einstein said, "I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious." 


In my years of negotiations, I know how hard it is to land a deal. In the world of sports, I'm dealing with clients whose skills will be at a peak for a relatively short period. I've got to sell that -- and hope the guy doesn't get injured -- in a very short window of time. It's a crapshoot. I'm the last person who wants any roadblocks in my way, because the road is tough enough to get this thing done.

Defensiveness is like a series of roadblocks, and as we are pushing towards a resolution, we can't get there, we can't drive down that road. We can't have a productive conversion with another party if we are defensive.

Defensiveness is the outward sign of inward insecurity. Defensiveness is like the Queen of Spades in the card game hearts. Practically the only way to win is to get ride of her. She is the devil. Defensiveness is like that card. Likewise, as long as you react to something going wrong in a defensive manner, you are not going to win.

People don't want to get close to insecurity. They don't want to do business with someone who takes everything personally. They see clearly that you don't have room to put them first, because guess what's there instead? Your baggage. Your defensiveness. You are looking through a heavy lens and what you see is the world against you. Defensiveness brushes people to the side and makes them feel, at the worst, almost worthless.  Defensiveness shows us as doors that are closed.  Curiosity demonstrates us as doors that are open.  Defensiveness gives an unfair advantage to your heart -- your emotions -- over your head, your reason and logic.  In contrast, curiosity gives a giant boost to your goal of a closer relationship. If defensiveness puts the brakes on a relationship, curiosity revs up the engine.  

Curiosity accomplishes two separate and distinct goals.
   
First, it shows that you are truly engaged and dedicated to communicating and finding out the most valuable information about your business partner’s ideals and desires. It is sending this critical message.

Second, curiosity is that platform I mentioned before. It's a strong position that enables us to gain insight and information.

Here's another quote that I like, from Samuel Johnson, the great British man of letters.  "Curiosity is, in great and generous minds, the first passion -- and the last."







Start your engines with curiosity and you will be in the business of being the best!

Molly Fletcher

Intentional Energy

Do you spend time thinking about where you put your energy? Who you give your energy to and why?

We have a choice each and every day about most everything in our life.  Such as a choice about how we use our energy or choices about who we spend time with or how we embrace opportunities and challenges.  People often think and talk about time management but through my experiences with the best coaches in the world, I believe the best also talk and think about energy management.  The best are intentional about where they put their energy.  They recognize that most of the time where they put their energy is a choice.  Some of you might be thinking? But if you get sick or are ill - that isn't a choice.  Correct it isn't, but how you deal with it is a choice.  I would challenge you to own your choices.  And that ownership of choices translates to energy management.

I was at a meeting recently and a gentleman walked in late and quickly said, "I am so sorry I am late, I had to finish that call."  The facilitator of the meeting said, "ok, but just to clarify, you chose to finish that call and to be late."   Challenging him to recognize that his being late was his choice.   And maybe it was a choice he wanted to make, but none the less it was a choice.

Great leaders own their decisions and own their energy management. They are intentional and aware of their choices.  The bi-product of this for leaders is a team that respects their focus on time and energy and, therefore, provides a healthy respect for time with their leader.

We can buy and/or hire things in life (if we choose to) but human energy isn't one of them.  I challenge you to embrace your days and weeks ahead with intentional energy management.  I am confident you will find what my coaches find, which is more wins then loses.

Twitter: @mollyfletcher