A Balancing Act

How do you balance it all?  Ask the question in a room full of women, and you get a variety of reactions.  From the recent piece in Atlantic Magazine titled “Why Women Still Can’t Have It All” to Sheryl Sandberg’s “Why We Have Too Few Women Leaders” speech, there are a million perspectives.

Just because I am usually the one standing in front of the room full of people doesn’t mean I have the answer.  But I think it starts with clarity.  And I think it’s a message that every person can pay attention to, not just the women in the room.

Gaining clarity around what matters to you is the single most important thing you can do to find balance.  When the world comes at us, as it often does, it allows us to say “yes” to the things that align with our priorities and empowers us to say “no” to the things that do not.

Earlier this month, I did a women’s event for the PGA TOUR.  At the end of the day, I asked each woman to take five pieces of paper and write down the five most important things in their lives.  It was a pretty easy exercise for most of the women.  Then I asked them to take one of their sheets of paper and crumple it up.  There was a little bit of a murmur from the group.  Next, crumple another sheet.  Then a third.  Finally a fourth until you had just THE most important thing in your life staring back at you.  By the time we got to the final step, their was almost an uproar in the room.  It’s a great exercise to get clarity.  Don’t worry, after the agony, they got all five back.

The point was to get really clear on what matters to you.  The other thing I tell people is don’t be your worst critic.  So often we judge ourselves day in and day out on.  I have a wonderful husband and three daughters.  If I judged myself every day on my priorities, I would feel like a failure some days.  Balance is a bigger picture.  Look at it across a week or a month.  It’s unrealistic to be perfectly balanced every day of our lives.  Sometimes work will take priority or sometimes it’s a family member or a health matter.  Remind yourself, that’s ok.  Just yourself on the overall direction, not the day-to-day.